The greatest moment in the history of film
you can almost hear it
imagine if your name was a swear word
motherfucker can you please come down to the office
omg at first i thought u meant like ur name was used as a swear word
shut the brittany up go chris yourself
I’m Madison Montgomery. I make seven million dollars a picture. I have two Teen Choice Awards. My mother put me to work ever since I could talk. I hated it. The last time I saw her, she snorted half my coke and then let the cops bust me for it. I am a millennial. Generation Y; born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us the global generation. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. But it seems our one defining trait is a numbness to the world. An indifference to suffering. And that’s the rub of all this, isn’t it? I can’t feel shit. I can’t feel anything.
when my mom was pregnant with me on halloween she painted her big pregnant belly like a pumpkin and that was my very first halloween costume i was born spoopy
WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED MY DAD ALSO DRESSED AS A PUMPKIN FARMER WITH A PACK OF PUMPKIN SEEDS IN HIS SHIRT POCKET BECAUSE HE PLANTED THE SEED OH MY FUCKING GOD HOW DID I JUST NOW GET THIS
when will teenage girls stop shaming each other and discover that their real enemy is teenage boys
when they are all gathered into the gym and lectured by tina fey
1. I still sleep in your shirt every night. My mother told me I should be a bitch and ask if you wanted it back for the next girl you use. My best friend says I should burn it. There’s a bloodstain on it right over my heart. I feel like it’s proof you damaged it.
2. I was doing laundry the other day. I thought about that time I was doing it with you and tried to steal your clean shirt. You made me take one that you had worn for a while so I’d fall asleep smelling you.
3. There’s a scar on my lip from where you bit it. You stupid fuck.
4. You asked me why I was sad once. You told me you wanted to help me, that you’d always be there to listen. We haven’t spoken in weeks.
5. I died a bit when you admitted you couldn’t remember any of the small details I had told you about me.
6. When I found out you used me to cheat, I threw up. I didn’t care so much that you had hurt me. I cared more that you had hurt her and she would never know.
7. I think I loved you even though you wouldn’t let me love you. I’ve never been one for following the rules.
8. I can’t stand pictures of you and her together. I had to remove you. I don’t think you even notice.
9. I hate you for doing this to me.
10. I hope when she breaks your heart, you try to text me. I hope you pour your heart out to me, say that it was me all along. That you love me. And I will reply with, “Sorry, who is this?”
If you were in a different body, would you have the same personality?
I would kill to be your clothes, cling to your body and hang from your bones
Did this person just sew into their body to take a picture for the Internet